We talk a lot about values in OCD treatment, but why are they so important? According to the Cambridge Dictionary, values are “the beliefs people have, especially about what is right and wrong and what is most important in life, that control their behavior.” Values are important to know because they help us become who we want to be, rather than what OCD wants us to become. They are not based on certainty, emotions, or whether something feels “right” in the
moment. Instead, they reflect direction: the kind of person you want to be and the way you wantto engage with the world.
Sometimes OCD gets in the way of our values, pulls our attention away from them, and toward threat detection and doubt. Over time, this completely shifts our attention to finding certainty, erasing doubt, or preventing harm rather than moving towards who we want to be. “But Alexis, what I value is based on my OCD!” You are absolutely correct! If we didn’t care about or value something, we probably wouldn’t have obsessions with it. If someone doesn’t value family or friends, then their OCD wouldn’t be around them. But values are supposed to be fulfilling, give you joy when you think about them, not fear and urgency.
What OCD-Driven Living Looks Like
One of the most confusing experiences in OCD is when it begins to sound like it is speaking in the language of values. Instead of showing up as obvious fear or doubt, OCD can present itself as something meaningful, important, or morally necessary. This can make it harder to recognize, because it does not always feel like “anxiety” in the traditional sense.
This often shows up as thoughts like:
● “I need to figure this out because it matters so much.”
● “A good person would not let this go unanswered.”
● “If I don’t resolve this, it means I don’t care enough.”
● “I have to be 100% sure because this is important to me.”
In these moments, the feeling is really intense, and there is that drive to answer our head and figure it out. That is where OCD shows up, demanding an answer that can never be found.
When OCD is constantly in the driver’s seat, it can feel exhausting, isolating, and just overall annoying at times. We feel like we don’t have a choice in our choices; OCD is deciding for us.
So what are the differences between OCD values and our actual values? A helpful distinction is this: values tend to move you toward chosen action, even in uncertainty, while OCD tends to demand resolution before action is possible. Values can hold ambiguity; OCD hates it.
Why Values and OCD Feel Conflicting
Value-based decision making and OCD often feel like they are pulling in opposite directions (because sometimes they are!). OCD tends to heavily rely on emotional reasoning, catastrophizing, black-and-white thinking, and other cognitive distortions. Values are not always accompanied by certainty or comfort, and sometimes they feel difficult to access, especially when OCD is strong. Living according to your values may involve discomfort, vulnerability, and the willingness to act without knowing exactly how things will turn out.
For example, if someone values connection, they may still have intrusive thoughts around a relationship. If someone values responsibility, they may still feel uncertain after making a decision. OCD often interprets these experiences as signs that something is wrong or unresolved. In reality, uncertainty and discomfort are normal parts of being human, especially when making meaningful choices. Another reason values and OCD can feel conflicting is that
OCD frequently disguises itself as responsibility, morality, or self-protection. It can convince people that compulsions are necessary because they “care so much.” Over time, this can blur the line between genuine values and fear-driven behaviors.
What Values-Based Action Looks Like in OCD Recovery
Values-based action in OCD recovery means choosing behaviors based on what matters to you, rather than what temporarily reduces anxiety or uncertainty (which sometimes feels impossible!). This does not mean anxiety disappears first. In many cases, values-based choices happen alongside discomfort, doubt, or intrusive thoughts. OCD often encourages people to
wait until they feel certain, calm, or “right” before taking action. Values-based living challenges that pattern by shifting the focus from certainty to willingness.
This might look like:
● Spending time with loved ones, even while intrusive thoughts are present
● Making a decision without excessive researching or reassurance seeking
● Attending an event despite uncertainty or anxiety
● Leaving the house without repeating checking rituals
● Allowing uncomfortable thoughts to exist without trying to solve or neutralize them
● Setting boundaries, resting, or engaging in hobbies, even when OCD says you should keep analyzing
The goal is not to force yourself to feel confident. The goal is to practice acting in alignment with the kind of person you want to be, even when OCD is demanding certainty. Values-based action is often less about big breakthroughs and more about small, repeated choices. Over time, these choices help strengthen flexibility and reduce OCD’s influence over daily life.
It is also important to recognize that values-based action can initially feel uncomfortable. Many people assume that if something aligns with their values, it should feel clear or emotionally relieving. In OCD recovery, that is not always the case. Sometimes the valued choice is the one that involves uncertainty, vulnerability, and resisting compulsions. Recovery is not about eliminating every intrusive thought or never feeling anxious again. It is about building a life that is guided more by meaning and intention than by fear and compulsive avoidance.