At a presentation with area guidance counselors back in January, one of them asked me about “more subtle OCD” compulsions and it got me thinking. When most people think of obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), they often picture visible behaviors: repeated checking, handwashing, or arranging objects “just right” in a color coded order or by size. While these compulsions certainly exist, many of the most powerful OCD behaviors are far less obvious.
Some compulsions don’t look like compulsions at all. They happen quietly, internally, or under the guise of coping. Because they’re subtle, they often go unnoticed—or are even encouraged(sometimes by a treatment provider!)—despite keeping the OCD cycle alive. Understanding these “sneaky” compulsions is an important step toward real change.
What makes a compulsion “sneaky”?
Sneaky compulsions are not defined by how dramatic they are, but by how easy they are to miss. Like all compulsions, sneaky ones can feel logical or responsible(“I’m just going to check in with my teacher about this assignment”). They often look like self protection to the person with OCD(“Since it’s winter and I’ve heard there is a bug going around, I’m just going to skip this event”). Sneaky compulsions happen almost automatically, with little conscious thought put into the trigger response, But, like all compulsions and rituals, they provide only brief relief.
It is precisely because rituals reduce anxiety in the short term, that they can be mistaken for helpful strategies—even though they strengthen OCD over time. So in response to the guidance counselor’s question, I identified what I see as three of the most common sneaky compulsions: avoidance, mental rituals, and reassurance seeking.
Avoidance: the compulsion that looks like safety
Avoidance is one of the most common—and most reinforced—OCD compulsions. This is because it is such a broad category–it can be avoiding people, places or conversations but it is also used to avoid decisions or commitments. Sometimes it is more of a mental act than a choice to avoid a physical space or people: it can be purposefully avoiding thoughts, memories, or feelings. It may be avoiding known triggers “just in case” the feared outcome may occur this time.
Avoidance often feels protective and proactive: “If I don’t go there, I won’t get anxious” or “If I don’t think about it, nothing bad will happen.” But avoidance teaches the brain: “This anxiety is dangerous, and I can’t handle it.” Over time, life becomes smaller—not because danger is increasing, but because OCD is dictating the rules.
Mental rituals: compulsions no one can see
Mental rituals are especially sneaky because they happen entirely in the mind. Even the person doing them may not realize they’re engaging in a compulsion. Common mental rituals include: replaying past events to check for mistakes; mentally reviewing feelings or reactions; arguing with intrusive thoughts; repeating phrases, prayers, or “correct” thoughts, and/or rying to neutralize a thought with another thought
Because nothing observable is happening, mental rituals often go undetected for years. But the function is the same as any other compulsion: to reduce anxiety and regain certainty. Unfortunately, mental rituals keep the obsession active and reinforce the belief that thoughts are dangerous.
Reassurance: when comfort becomes a trap
Reassurance is one of the most socially accepted compulsions (and the subject of a blog post last month!) It can look like: asking loved ones for confirmation on things outside their control; googling symptoms or meanings (or used ChatGPT or WebMD to answer all those pesky questions!); checking online forums or social media (hello Reddit, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok!); or re-reading messages, rules, or information
Reassurance is sneaky because it feels relational and responsible. It can even feel loving. But in OCD, reassurance is rarely about understanding—it’s about eliminating doubt.
The relief it provides is temporary. Soon, the question returns: “But what if this is different?” says OCD. If OCD centers on decision making, you may start to wonder “Did I explain it right?”which provides permission to launch into the reassurance seeking conversation again because “What if I didn’t?” And, when seeking information to mollify OCD, the biggest question of all that allows these rituals to continue is: “Are you really sure?” This is because reassurance trains the brain to seek certainty instead of tolerance.
Why sneaky compulsions are so powerful
Sneaky compulsions are effective in the short term—which is exactly why they’re hard to stop.
They lower anxiety quickly, feel protective, and reduce distress without confrontation. But they also prevent learning that anxiety can pass on its own, reinforce the fear of uncertainty, and strengthen OCD’s authority. OCD doesn’t need dramatic or physical rituals to survive. It thrives on subtle accommodations.
“But I thought I was coping…”
Many people are surprised to learn that strategies they believed were helping—like distraction, thought-challenging, or avoiding triggers—are actually maintaining OCD. This isn’t a failure. OCD is persuasive. It disguises compulsions as problem-solving. The question isn’t “Does this make me feel better right now?” It’s “Does this help me live more freely over time?”
What treatment does differently
Effective OCD treatment doesn’t just target obvious behaviors—it addresses these quieter patterns too.
Treatment helps people:
- Notice when avoidance is driving choices
- Learn to disengage from mental rituals
- Respond to reassurance urges differently
- Practice tolerating uncertainty instead of resolving it
The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety—it’s to reduce OCD’s control. If you recognize yourself in these sneaky compulsions, it doesn’t mean you’re doing OCD “wrong.” It means OCD has adapted.
Recovery isn’t about catching every compulsion perfectly. It’s about gently noticing patterns, making small changes, and practicing responses that allow anxiety to rise and fall without interference.
OCD is loud—but some of its strongest moves are quiet. And noticing them is a powerful first step.